My All Time Squad Of Mustaches
C:Mike Piazza
1B: Jason Giambi
2B: Bobby Grich
3B: Wade Boggs
SS: Alex Bregman (1/2 game)
LF:Dave Winfield
CF:Andre Dawson
RF:Reggie Jackson
SP: Rollie Fingers
CP: Dennis Eckersly
So I decided this was the absolute best way to start off my blogging career, sick mustaches.
Sitting at home playing MLB, watching old sox highlights got me thinking… how good would an all time mustache team be? How many legit HOFers rocked a mustache? Safe to say I think this team would absolutely dominate in any time period, ever. Piazza has that classic “Alpha Male” mustache most notably when he was wearing the Dodgers blue. Boggs, Giambi, and Grich all have two things in common. 1. Classic dad staches’ 2. Hall of Fame raking ability… for all you casuals my guy Bobby Grich was hitting for power from the middle infield spots back when we were still in ‘Nam. Bregman was kind of an easy way out for me, not gonna lie. He just wore that gross “im in 7th grade and just got facial hair” look for 1/2 a game. (Literally shaved in between at bats).
Pretty proud of the OF… Winfield, Reggie, and Dawson is an absolutely terrifying trio if your on the bump facing off against the ‘stache squad. Rumor has it Reggie Jackson wasn’t even clutch until he decided to grow out that upper lip hair, thank god he let it grow (not actually, yankees suck).
As far as pitching goes it was a pretty hard call on which guys I was going with, pitchers are normally the weirdest dudes in the clubhouse and it turns out they’re also the most likely to grow out a badass mustache. Could’ve went with Randy Johnson, Steroid Clemens, bunch of different guys. But, I absolutely absolutely had to give it to the 2 mustache OG’s. Eck and Rollie probably revolutionized the mustache game in general. Your dad was probably watching an A’s game back in the day and said to himself “that dude looks badass” next thing you know your dad is rocking a lip toupee in your parents wedding photo. Dennis Eckersly is technically everybody’s mustache granddad. Thats all I got.
